Funny eBay feedback quotes

This is all from one guy, he's fucking hilarious. Not to mention that the didn't even do any transactions! He's just leaving feedback!

Sample:

Praise: Pornography is bad because God will kill you and eat your bones. TERIFFIC SALE!
Response by bishop2 - I have not dealt with this person. Do not understand the "feedback

Praise: Very HIGH QUALITY preserved cancer tumors. I ate them. I know it was wrong

Praise: I need to MOW the LAWN today. INCREDIBLE! RISKY! Can I do it? Yes, thanks to you

Praise: LEMON-FLAVORED! This seller contains yellow number 4! I LOVE yellow number 4!

Praise: ROSY CHEEKS! My parents always told me rosy cheeks get high bids.

Praise: THE PERFECT WEIGHT FOR ANY PERSON! Ingenious? No. Perfect weight? Yes.

Praise: OBSERVANT. Knows where everything is. I call him Ted. Short for Tedrick.

Praise: Is HUMAN. Has increased capacity for REASONING. Not a MONKEY. ...BRAINS...

Praise: FRISKY! Full of energy. I know what you're thinking: Not Pat4. Yes, Pat4!

Praise: CONNOISEUR of COLLECTIBLE MISCELLANY. Like rocks. And dirt. EXPERT!

Praise: Ever see the movie Cindarella? Simon6 did. Anyway, you're still my favorite!
Response by sourberry11 - I don't know who andy46477 is.This feedback is a mistake.Never dealt with him.

Praise: Ever see the movie Cindarella? Simon5 did. Anyway, you're still my favorite!

Praise: I have cancer so I bid low. I cry when I'm outbid. My dog died yesterday.

Praise: I was in the Army. I drool. Poodles and Biscuits, Sir! Poodles and Biscuits, Sir

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